Just in case.

Just in case you don't see me post here (or elsewhere) again, if I stop responding to email and stop answering my phone, know that all is for the best. I'd like to thank those who have done their best to stand by me through a difficult time, and to tell you that that difficult time will soon be over. In a nutshell, there comes a time where there is nothing left, where hope has gone, where "friends" shun me and walk away, where hobbies die their natural death after decades. There comes a time when being alone isn't worth being. I think today that time may have arrived. I've been crying now for hours, and have no tears left. One of my very few friends (or so I thought him to be), one I've known for 38 years, will give me a hand but only on his schedule; he has time at 7 AM. He knows full well that the cirrhosis inverts day and night and that I simply can not be awake at that time, but those are his conditions. There is no one else. On BC my every post is hounded by bullies who want to see me die; they're going to get their wish. No one, NO ONE, no matter how much he's pretended to be my friend, EVER supports me on BC. NO ONE ever suggests to the bullies to back off. NO ONE ever sees my side or my point of view. This tells me something, of course. It tells me that I have NO friends, only a few people who PRETEND to be my friends out of politeness or some sense of guilt. With no friends, life is insupportable. Let's see if I have the courage of my convictions today. Oh, go ahead. Post on BC that Tangie is making fake suicide threats again. Except that one of these times it won't be a fake. I know it, and you all know it. But if I add up the various posters, it's obvious that a few will tolerate me alive, no one wants me around, and the vast majority want me to die. Who am I to argue? Tangie P.S. The sigpic below shows the only real friend I've had in the past decade. The only one who will always stand by me, who is always there for me, who comforts me when I'm down, who is always ready for me when I need someone, who forgives me when I'm angry, and who asks nothing in return except love, food to eat, and a place to stay.