Surgery next week. I'm scared.

Feb 1. That's when it's scheduled to happen. It's not something to look forward to. I've been kind of used to having a prostate; I'll miss it. I hope I don't miss anything else; there are potential after effects that could significantly detract from the pleasures of life (not that there are many left). Last time I had major surgery was almost 19 years ago. At that time, the surgeon told me I had a 20% chance to live. When I went to the hospital that didn't bother me, I KNEW that it would be fine, and it was. Consciously I knew I didn't have much chance, but subconsciously I wasn't afraid at all. This time it's different. This time the surgeon says it will be fine, but my subconscious is telling me that I won't make it. I wish I could talk to it, but it doesn't listen; not at all. So I'm scared; everything now that I should do (tidy house, make meals, do dishes, etc.) seems to be absolutely pointless. I mean, why should I bother if I'm not going to be here in a few days? Anyone know what language subconsciouses speak? Tangie